Facts about Marriage

Now that you know how to find someone to marry let's talk about why getting married is important and how it is beneficial to everyone involved. From what I can observe in the world today marriage is becoming a dying habit. This is not a main priority in everyone's eyes anymore and a lot of what I see and hear is that a lot of people don't even have getting married as one of their lifetime goals. This is saddening to me because I could not imagine my life without my husband. He is my partner in everything and I always want him by my side.

So first I am going to stump some of the reasons for why you should wait to get married that I found from an article on Elite Daily.

"1. You Barely Know Yourself" (2014)

I just turned 25 and I can agree with this statement. I am still learning about myself ALL the time. I struggle even more now that I have kids who I put above my needs every day. BUT being married has helped me learn more about myself. My husband always has my back and he supports me while I search different paths of learning more about myself. He helps me see the best side of myself, a side I tend to forget about and cover with my insecurities. If it wasn't for him I would not know as much as I do about myself today.

"2. You're Most Likely Not Financially Stable" (2014)

First of all you will probably not be making enough money to feel comfortable getting married and starting a family until it is probably too late. Second if you are so worried about being able to support two people than find someone who is willing to work while you work. Then you will have two incomes and it will be just like supporting yourself when single but now you can enjoy the benefits of marriage.
When my husband and I got married we were BROKE! We were both in school, I was only a year, and we started living off of one income as soon as our daughter was born which was a little over a year into our marriage. Our first semesters at school we even had to take extra loans out so that we could financially get through the next two semesters. So we were not even close to making the big bucks but we were able to stay afloat and slowly rise out of the water over the years.
Because we got married so young and struggled with money at first we were able to learn good budgeting and saving habits that now that we are making enough money we are able to save more each month for a future down payment. We were even able to buy our first house in our early 20's, something that not a lot of people our age can do as a married couple with two kids.
Yes a lot of our success with money has to do with how hard my husband works at his job. But if he was still making half what he is making now we would be ok. It would be hard but we would still be happy making rice and beans 3 nights a week or having date night in every week. When you are married young and have little money you are able to see the value money holds but that it isn't necessary to create happiness in a relationship or family.

"3. You May Very Well Feel Like You Haven't Experienced Enough" (2014)

These reasons irk me. I cannot imagine putting any of these in front of what my husband and I have. nothing makes me more happy than when I am with him. That being said I don't need to explore what else is out there. Why would you need to do that when you have found someone who makes you happy and who you can picture a life with?
Another view you can take this is that once you get married and especially once you have kids you can no longer do anything fun. WRONG! My husband and I do fun things all the time. We recently went on a vacation to the Gulf Coast, yes without kids, and it was a lot of fun. Then we met back up with the kids and we continued our fun vacation while enjoying it through their eyes as well. It is also a day and age where when you are older you can still do things you did when you were younger like explore the world. So since my husband and I got married young and started having kids young we will be empty nesters young. Then when we are empty nesters and actually have money, which we didn't as young 20 somethings whether we had been married or not, we can explore the world and do fun things we couldn't always do when we had kids at home (we can still do those things just not as frequently). Then there are couples who get married and who don't have kids right away. They can have fun too and they will probably have more fun being able to enjoy those adventures with someone they love.

"4. Marriage Is Forever; What's The Rush?"

This questions seems ridiculous to me. When I found my husband I knew quickly after that I could see myself with him forever and I wanted that forever to start that day, then we had to wait because of wedding planning (not our choice but was a strong recommendation from those who were paying for the wedding *cough cough mom and dad). I wanted forever to start as soon as possible. Being engaged SUCKED and once it was over my forever started and I was the happiest I had ever been, but not the happiest I would ever be because my love and happiness for this man grows everyday. It always baffles me when I hear of long drawn out engagements. Yes I understand that most of the world doesn't believe in waiting until you are married but if you are making the commitment to get married by getting engaged why wait? It will only cause doubt and will increase the likelihood of one of you to back out because they become unsure about their decision, which by the way is not a sign that you should not get married. Having doubts and getting scared is normal before getting married, both my husband and I were scared but we pushed those fears aside and made the best decision of our lives to start our forever now instead of later.

"5. Succeeding Does Get Harder With Age"

As I go from one reason to the next the agitation inside of me rises. These reasons are all very selfish and being married is a time when you have to be very unselfish. So thinking about choosing things that only benefit me over my true love makes me angry. I would not choose anything over my husband, NOTHING! So when thinking about how if I had pushed off my marriage so I could finish school first I don't understand how the benefit of finishing school first would out weigh the benefits of being married. Yes finishing school has become harder but that again has more to do with having kids so soon into our marriage (which I do not regret at all) but being married means that I have my person there for me every step of the way. He is there to give me advice, to help me through tough assignments and has especially been there during times when I have wanted to quit and he did not let me.
In turn I have been there to help him and watch him succeed. We have lived in four different states since getting married and most of those moves have been to help him step up in his career field. I have been able to grow by watching his example of working hard and from learning to sacrifice for someone else.

I have such a hard time seeing how these reasons are a good reason to push off getting married. I guess if these are your reasons than you are thinking about yourself but marriage is about the couple and you do have to be selfless and start putting someone else before you sometimes but in turn you will be put first other times. This can be a hard thing to learn and a hard thing to start doing but as you start learning and doing you will grow and learn more about yourself.

If the above wasn't enough of a reason to get married than here are some hard evidence of why getting married will make your life better:

"when young adults marry, they experience an immediate reduction in depressive symptoms, and higher life satisfaction levels hold true for the married across incomes, ethnic groups, and gender." (2012)

"faithfully married people report being well satisfied with their sex lives, more so than any other category of sexually active people." (2012)

"loss of freedom outside the boundaries of the marriage union actually creates new opportunities for a profound level of freedom within them.... by giving up other choices in order to fully commit to marriage, spouses find that barriers within the relationship collapse and the couple feels a freedom unique to marriage-an emotional, psychological, and sexual safety unmatched by any other relationship." (2012)

"Infidelity is more common among marriages preceded by cohabitation, and physical aggression is also more common." (2012)

"The benefits begin at the marriage ceremony; extend into the lives of husbands, wives, and their children across time; then stretch out to bolster neighborhoods, communities, and the world at large." (2012)

Now you decide which path you want to take. The selfish path of being alone or the selfless path that in the beginning and end will give you more?


Resources:
Hawkins, Alan J. , Dollahite, David C. , Draper, Thomas W. (2012). Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives. Provo, Utah: Brigham Young University
Paul Hudson. (2014). 5 Good Reasons Why You Should Wait Until You’re 30 To Get Married. Retrieved from http://elitedaily.com/dating/sex/5-reasons-one-get-married-30/